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Saturday, October 08, 2005


Dear readers,

My friend Jerry is a total catch. In fact he's so nice that I kick myself every time we hang out for not liking him liking him. He is kind, attentive, smart and does things like bring a girlfriend a cupcake when she's having a bad day. Given all of that, it's always educational for me when he tells me about his love life.

Last week, Jerry told me a story. He got set up on a Saturday night. The girl was nice enough but he had no interest in seeing her again so he simply never called. She called him on Thursday the following week to see what he was up to. He asked me what on earth he was supposed to do since he didn't want to see her again. Obviously my allegiance is to Jerry in this scenario but I can't help but feel bad for this poor oblivious girl! Of course she likes him, he's great...the sad bit is she has no idea that her call has elicited horror rather than delight from him. Wouldn't you just die to know that's the effect your call had?

So what's it all mean?
  1. Even nice guys sometimes don't like you back. Regardless, it's ok to think he's a jerk for hurting your feelings.
  2. If he doesn't call you, it's not because he lost his phone/got abducted by aliens/got really busy. It's because he didn't want to call you. Take the hint and don't make things worse by calling him. I know this and yet I can still convince myself that it might be ok to call him. Yes, sometimes I too am delusional.
  3. There is no good way to tell someone you hardly know that you don't feel like getting to know them better. Just never calling them again is as good as any option. Some guys opt for the direct route and call to say they never want to see you again. It is nice to get closure rather than just never knowing what happened, but you only really get closure if the guy is willing to give you a post mortem on what went wrong. If they can't give you any specifics that you can use for future reference, then what's the use?
  4. Truly nice guys at least have the decency to blow you off right away rather than sticking around long enough to sleep with you. He hurts your feelings but he doesn't waste your time or use you...not so bad now is it?

One day some lucky girl will snag Jerry, and she'll get treated like a princess. Until then, he's bound to break some hearts!




Anonymous elsa said...

this is great advice. :) I really like your style!

4:58 AM  
Blogger Gordon said...

You hit the nail on the head: delusional.

We all do it and we cannot help ourselves, no matter how hard we try. It doesn't matter what we do the delusions creep in, you start to obsess and you do something stupid...like call.

This girl waited five days. So you know exactly what she was thinking. She waited and waited and waited and then having been eaten her up all week she dialsadeath. Ouch.

9:34 AM  
Blogger DatingDiva said...

You definitely hit the nail on the head. I am so done with playing that I truly want someone to just be honest if their not interested but men and women are like night and day. Thanks for the advice.

5:54 PM  

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