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Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Making my skin crawl

Sometimes a relationship can go from pretty good to oh my lord I'm going to vomit if he comes near me in no time flat. I tend to give new guys the benefit of the doubt. I'll meet a guy, I'll be not so sure of him but "gee he seems nice, I should give him a shot." And then bam! He makes my skin crawl.

I dated Frank for a few weeks. In hindsight, I knew all along that we didn't have much to say to each other. But at the beginning, sheer chemistry and his obvious affection for me were enough. It's hard not to like someone who adores you, isn't it?

At first I knew it wasn't going anywhere, but it was fun. Good enough, right? Then I went through a week or two where I got a bit confused by all of his affection, and I started thinking maybe, just maybe it could work. I think a lot of women are so eager to be loved and to love back that we can mistake being loved for loving back. Of course that little illusion was bound to come crashing down sooner or later, so I shouldn't have been surprised when it did.

Frank was gone on vacation for a couple of weeks. When he left I was fairly happy with him, but then I had 2 weeks to think about how my life was just fine without him. When he got back the mere idea of kissing him was yak inducing, and yet he still adored me just the same as he had 2 weeks prior.

So what happened? My good friend Olivia likes to say "The body never lies" And it's true. Eventually my body realizes the truth even if my brain takes a while to catch up. Nothing really changed between Frank and I during those two weeks, but my body finally decided to send me a message.

Some mental notes for next time...
  1. Don't mistake someone loving you for loving him back.
  2. It's ok to be swept up in the first blushes of love, but don't stop using your head. If you don't have anything to say to each other, the chemistry will wear thin sooner rather than later.
  3. Listen to your body. If it tells you that you don't want to come near a guy, it's probably for a good reason.
  4. People get their hearts broken all the time. A lot of those people are perfectly nice and did nothing to deserve it. It doesn't mean you have to love them back. But you do have to be nice and try to do right by them (easier said than done).




Anonymous Quan Wong said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:08 AM  
Blogger michellesarah said...

I agree with this post - at the risk of sounding like the uncaring friend who could turn anything around so it was about her, I had a boyfriend once when I was about 16 where I got physical hints that we weren't meant to be together.

Plus he smelt funny. Kind of damp, I think it was cos he put gel in his hair when it was wet, it kinda sealed the wet into his hair, producing a damp smell.. Anyway, I knew it was over when I couldn't even stand a quick peck or hand-hold.

11:43 PM  

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