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Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Dynasty moment

Dear Biatch,

I was seeing this guy Mike, who I met on-line, for a couple of months, and we were pretty serious. The only thing that was bugging me was that I could see that he was still going on the website where I met him. Is there a good reason he could still be going on there? I can't really think of one, but I'm trying to! So I decided to confront him the other day about it, and I drove over to his place at about 10 pm. When I got there we started talking about it, and I decided to go get a glass of water before we went any further. Well lo and behold, there was a girl hiding in the kitchen!!! Needless to say, I walked back out and slapped him and told him to f*** off. What the hell?

Ginny

Dear Ginny,

Some thoughts on where it all went wrong:

  1. There is NO good reason for a man you are dating seriously to be on the prowl on internet dating sites. None, nada, zip. I'm sure your girlfriends can come up with excuses - like maybe he's just bored at work or perhaps he's just reading what people have written him but not replying. They mean well, but they're just trying to keep you from freaking out. In the end, if he's looking at dating websites, he's not taking you quite as seriously as you are taking him.
  2. This might be a controversial perspective, but here goes...You are NEVER exclusive until you've both said so. I think a lot of people, hopeless romantics foremost among them, like to assume exclusivity after say X number of dates or having sex for the first time. Unfortunately as long as there are loopholes, people will jump through them. If you want to be exclusive, it needs to be overtly communicated. At least that way, if you catch your guy with another girl, he can't claim he didn't realize he wasn't allowed to date other people. It's not a romantic perspective, but hey I'm an MBA, what do you expect?
  3. Sometimes we all need to have our Dynasty moments. Those are the times when you do something a bit over-the-top, something Joan Collins would be proud of. I prefer to throw wine on someone since it's less physically violent and more dramatic (and long lasting!) Yes, of course it's poor form, and it doesn't solve anything, but man oh man do you feel better afterwards. The key is to not cross the line into psycho ex territory. It's a fine line indeed, so be careful when unleashing your inner Carrington.
  4. Hiding a girl in your kitchen is just dumb. At least try to keep your girlfriend out of the kitchen if there is another woman hiding in there. I'd recommend under the bed as a better hiding place.
  5. If you are the girl hiding in the kitchen, you have to wonder "what has my life come to?" Do you really want to be with a guy who is cheating on his girlfriend? At least he could have the cojones to stand his ground and own up to cheating. Having to hide is just plain embarrassing.

Love,

Biatch

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