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Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Disrespecting

Dear readers,

A guy friend of mine once told me about his theory on how to make someone really like you. He said you have to "disrespect" them because everyone secretly wants to be mistreated. Now this is an interesting theory. At first glance, it can't possibly be right can it? We bitch and moan endlessly about being mistreated. We don't secretly like it do we?

Let's look at the evidence:

  1. Women love a bad boy. Just look at the success of Tommy Lee, Colin Farrell and Russell Crowe. Somehow I doubt they're showering the ladies in their life with roses and love sonnets. More likely, there's some serious disrespecting going on (i.e. illicit sex videos, spousal abuse, cheating).
  2. We get turned off if someone is "too into us." I know so many girls who cringe if a boy gives them flowers, compliments them too much, or even actually calls when he says he's going to.
  3. We let men string us along for years. They don't call when they say they will, we wait by the phone. They dump us, we take them back. They cheat on us, we forgive them.

Now obviously there's a part of all of us that does want to be treated well. We wouldn't spend countless hours reading things like He's Just Not That Into You or whining to our girlfriends if we didn't really want to be happy. So maybe it's time to stop wanting to be disrespected. Maybe, just maybe we wouldn't get disrespected so much if we didn't reward that behavior.

My friend Samantha always dated bad boys. And surprise surprise, they never treated her very well. A few months back, she met a guy. He liked her and treated her like a princess from the start, nothing over the top, but still sweet and consistent. She knew she had a good guy on her hands, so for once she fought her natural urges and gave the good guy a chance. And guess what...they're happy and in love, and now she can't remember why she ever wanted to those bad guys in the first place. I'm just saying...

Love,

Biatch

1 Comments:

Anonymous Dawn Olsen said...

I don't think it's that we like being mistreated, we just don't want someone who is too eager. I think people in general enjoy a little challenge in a relationship.

That being said, it creates a cycle of abuse, because there is a difference between a "challenge" and just being treated like shit. Most women/men know the difference, but can't always break the habit, or are too desperate to walk away.

Just my thoughts on the matter.

4:05 PM  

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