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Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Don't Buy the Cow

Dear Biatch,

I've been dating this guy for a while now. Our first couple dates were great. On our 3rd date, he invited me over to his place to watch a movie, and we ended up having sex. Since then, he never asks me out for weekends and he never actually takes me out. Instead, we always go over to his place and "watch movies." We have a good time, but I worry that this has become an "arrangement" instead of a relationship. What do you think I should do?



Ever heard the phrase, "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Well, Olivia, you're the cow. And the milk is your sweet, sweet love. It seems like you know what your problem is here. You have an arrangement. A relationship involves getting to know each other and not just in a carnal way. A few things to remember:

  1. Men who like you want to see you on weekends. That is prime dating real estate. If he isn't seeing you then, there's a good chance he's seeing someone else then, or he's hoping for something better than you to come up. Either way, that's not good. An ex of mine had a great way of describing this. Girls that were worth a hook up but not a weekend night were known as "Weekday Ho's." Olivia, do you want to be a weekday ho?
  2. Neither having sex nor watching movies involves actually getting to know more about you as a person. If he isn't making an effort to find out more about you - your middle name, your childhood pet, your latest project at work - then he isn't interested in you for your personality.
  3. Who can blame a guy for keeping a girl around who sleeps with him without expecting anything in return? By coming over and sleeping with him, you are reinforcing his behavior. If you want him to date you, you need to start turning him down for these little movie nights. Next time he asks you to come over, suggest going out and grabbing dinner. It'll tell you all you need to know if he balks.

So Olivia, it's time for you to break lover boy out of this routine. If it doesn't work, tell him to shove his arrangement. You're no weekday ho!




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